Time of visit: Sunday, shortly before last call.

Price: $4 millers, $4 rails, $6 decent beer

Clientèle: pseudo-hipsters and locals

It had been a long night for us, but we managed to hit all the Columbia Heights bars on the list before last call. By the time we’d arrived at Wonderland, we were all admittedly pretty cock-eyed. We’d picked up a couple of new buddies from Looking Glass, both of whom were gay and I’m pretty sure were trying to get Samedi to go to bat for their team, so to speak. But anyway, as we walked in the door, all the patrons inside were lined up and applauding us. At first I thought they were all just awe-struck by the kick-ass cowboy hat I was peacocking with that night, because it’s MAD fly and totally AWESOME, but then I realized that they were just applauding everyone who walked through the door. Sycophants.

Wonderland’s beer selection is alright, but nothing special compared to the Red Derby. They have a minimum for credit/debit card transactions, which J found out when he tried to order two PBRs (he solved this problem not by buying two more expensive drinks, but by buying four PBRs and giving two away to random people – what a nice guy).

Wonderland’s interior is dark, and my memory of the place is that there’s a lot of wood paneling, although I may be completely wrong. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever been sober enough at Wonderland to really pay attention to the details. Given its central neighborhood location, coupled with the fact that it has the only dance floor in CoHi, Wonderland is definitely an end-of-the-night, on-my-way-home destination.

In fact, I’d venture to guess that the second-level dance floor is the bar’s biggest (or only) draw for the weekend crowd. If it’s close to the end of the night, and you don’t want to hoof it all the way to Chief Ike’s or 18th street, then the Wonderland Ballroom is your destination. The dance floor is tiny, and every time I’ve been there, it’s been full of geeky white boys who can’t dance, but are too drunk to realize this, so instead they just kinda bounce, flail, and pump their fists, presumably relying on their drunkenness to relieve them of the awkward memory of their attempt at dancing. Or in the case of our guest blogger, they just bop their heads while double-fisting PBR.

Wonderland is a quaint little not-quite-neighborhood bar. It doesn’t seem to have the same character or cast as the Derby, but as far as neighborhood bars go, you could do a lot worse. I’ve usually had a pretty good time whenever I’ve been there. If bar trivia is your thing, they host it every Monday night. And if you’re in the mood to dance, but don’t want walk very far, this is the place to go (just watch out for the independently-swaying limbs of the other “dancers”). One warning though – it may take you a while to catch a cab on 11th and Kenyon at 3 AM.

Final Thoughts:

Samedi: “Used to be an okay local bar but now its full of fucking hipsters. Makes me wanna start hitting people with bar stools.”

Cupcakes: “I also have several issues with this place. Luckily in the summertime the porch makes it ok.”

J: “I think I creeped some girls out.”